Women in S’pore start chat group and ‘Dating Guide SG’ table to discuss men – Mothership.SG

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An influencer made a controversial proposal via a TikTok video on Sunday (October 17): a group chat for girls in Singapore to discuss their experiences with men via dating apps, and an Excel sheet to gather information.

The idea was apparently implemented shortly afterwards in the form of a Telegram group chat and a Google sheet in which names of people, brief descriptions of their alleged wrongdoings and even links to their social media profiles were compiled.

It did so as a flurry of comments and reactions poured into the original TikTok post, both for and against the proposal.

Group chat would “save time”

Koh Boon Ki, the influencer who first brought up the idea, stated in her TikTok post that group chat for women through dating apps to discuss their male colleagues would “save any time” as most would People likely using the same dating app were talking about matches.

That way, they could share information about possible dates to save each other the trouble of “figuring out the red flags,” Koh said.

“Imagine the Excel spreadsheet we can create,” she added.

Screenshot via Koh Boon Ki (@ doujiang.youtiao) on TikTok.

In the caption of her post, Koh asked about the thoughts of her viewers, noting that “the guys have worse Telegraphs anyway”.

The post met with both support and criticism.

Support for the idea

Proponents of the idea pointed to the truth of Koh’s headline that “Guys Have Worse Telegrams”.

There were also several users who said they would like to share their past experiences for the benefit of others.

Many seemed to be asking for a link to join the group or for an update if the group was actually created.

Other supporters suggested that Google Docs could be used for this purpose, so that submissions from “anyone” could be accepted.

Criticism of the idea

However, many raised concerns about such an initiative, saying that possibly biased or false allegations could be made anonymously as it would be difficult to verify some of the allegations made.

Another criticism of the idea was that it left no room for people who had really changed for the better.

Others said anything like this, where guys discuss their experiences with girls, would be definitely unacceptable.

The danger of escalating harassment and defamation was also given as reasons why the idea should not be implemented.

Group chat and Google Spreadsheet are displayed

Hours later, on the evening of October 17, links to a Telegram group chat and a Google sheet were circulated on messaging apps and social media.

The Google Sheet was titled “Dating Guide SG” and had two separate tabs called “Blacklist” and “Avoid”, and each tab contained fields for names, reasons for listing, and links to their social media profiles.

The reasons given varied widely and included reports of sexual assault, abuse, voyeurism and infidelity on the blacklist tab.

Other offenses were listed under the Avoid tab, including staying on multiple dating apps while meeting someone, being “desperate” and clinging, sending inappropriate sexual messages, just talking about yourself or cryptocurrency, or even being an “avid gamer”. .

The viewers of the sheet could remain anonymous to each other.

Screenshot via Dating Guide SG on Google Sheets.

“What if the guy was wrongly accused?”

A recipient of a link to the Google Sheet went to TikTok and called it “toxic”.

“Yes, girls band together, especially against trashy guys, but that’s q poisonous imo, because what if the guy is falsely accused …” wrote TikToker @denise_tyh in the caption of her TikTok post.

Screenshot via @denise_tyh on TikTok.

However, this didn’t stop commentators from looking for a link to the document, as many asked for it so they could share their own experiences.

However, the paper appeared to have been taken offline sometime in the late evening of October 17th.

Screenshot via Dating Guide SG on Google Sheets.

In the meantime, a Telegram group chat with the title “f * ing 🚩🚩🚩” has gained over 100 followers.

The discussions in the group included the exchange of experiences with certain people, similar to the Google sheet.

The group appears to have closed on October 18th.

The group’s name is an obvious hint at a recent trend where social media users share examples of what they see as red flags in various interpersonal interactions along with the emoji “🚩”.

Koh’s original suggestion, as well as a similar Telegram group apparently called “SG Dating Adventure,” was highlighted by TikTok user @ g1ennice, who said it was theoretically a “great idea” that she predicted “really going south” would go really fast “as the group grew.

She acknowledged that men had started groups like SG Nasi Lemak, where explicit photos were often shared without consent, but claimed that setting up a group chat for girls to talk about their experiences with men could seem hypocritical, if much had been done to oppose the practice of boys talking about their experiences with girls.

She said:

“When we create such a malicious group chat, even if it’s not on the same level, it looks like we’re condoning that behavior because we’re doing something similar.”

She also highlighted the potential for innocent guys to be falsely accused with fake screenshots without a chance to defend themselves.

“I think it’s important [for girls] stick together and be a strong community, [but] not that way, ”she said.

It is not clear whether Koh was the creator of either group.

However, on her Instagram page (@bimbiboon), Koh posted a story around 3pm on October 17th saying she was “now a GC” [Group Chat] Administrator”.

An update from October 18 at around 3am said the group was “now closed” along with the statement that “talking about guys is just as problematic as talking to them”.

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Top screenshots from denise_tyh on TikTok and from Google Sheets

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