Satire: Iowa State Launches NFT Line To Replace Scholarship Programs | Special sections

The future of art? An early edition of the new Iowa State NFT series is poised to replace scholarships

Scholarships aside, Iowa State University is moving into the future, helping students invest in the future with their new state-of-the-art NFT collection.

The new Cy-Topic NFT collection is promised to be “the next big thing in this business that nobody really understands,” describes an unnamed faculty member.

Scholarships traditionally give money directly to students’ tuition fees so that they can pay them off immediately. However, the new NFT collection, which is set to replace all college scholarships, will work a little differently.

Instead of redeeming them, the university awards all NFTs to freshmen who qualify, and the school claims the NFTs are worth so much by senior year that any student can sell enough money back to pay off the tuition fees and buy a house right after graduation, make a down payment on a vacation home and build a six-figure financial portfolio.

“You don’t see any other university that is moving into the future and can promise its students so many great amenities immediately after graduation”, notes renowned 3rd floor MU caretaker Mr. Hayes. “Sure, we may not understand how it works or have ever seen a process like this before, but when has that ever stopped us from starting new programs in the past? “

While the program isn’t slated to start before the 2023 school year, the university’s tech support is in talks to already google what a “blockchain” is and has already given up on building a properly functioning AccessPlus to build servers that big are enough to host these yet to be released NFTs.

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